Flights Out

You asked for this. Actually, you didn’t, but neither did I.

To keep the short story long, I had this 3-day trip to Wakefield one autumn. I went via Coppenhagen, it was quicker and easier from Malmö. A Hungarian comedian (deceased) said once that if the ferry ride was half an hour longer, they would not be able to tie out the boat. Of course, he was referring to the duty free alcohol system on the north. It is a duty and care free bottomless beverage-consumption 3.5 hours ride in either direction (same thing from Belgium, was on it at least 6 times).

…After I squeezed the remaining small bottles of Ballentines at the local McDonalds into my diet coke (I was handed the remaining stock by the flight attendant out of courtesy) I was picked up by Bjorn Lynne / Dr. Awersome / Divinorum to take me to the Team 17 (during Worms Resurrection, but before the release of the Alien Resurrection) office, we went on attending a Toto concert in Leeds together and purchasing everything he ever released and had stock of till that point. I also purchased all available the Douglas Adams books to read & translate – back then all I was living for was to build a legacy website. The univ server was called Nostromo, I swear (another side effect of the 70s). I opted out from staying at the hotel on the second night and with the money I saved I decided to buy some CDs (a media of music that used to exist) upon returning to Sweden.

The local music store had a listen in section: headsets with promoted CDs (Covid was nowhere back then). This was how I casually came across the Geto Boys Resurrection album. I was blown away by it, but the cherry on top was listening to the “I just wanna die” track. From 2 mins 45 seconds into the song this is the lyrics:

I put the pistol to my temple
See the bullet in the chamber
Cocked it back and out of anger
I pulled the crack, see the shells jump out the side
Now I’m fallin back, I’m seein faces but they’re all in black

Without the headset you would probably miss out on this most ingenious usage of a stereo rendering I have ever encountered. There are four sound effects in a sequence:

you hear a gun being cocked up on one side of your head – ” I put the pistol to my temple” – close enough to your ear

then a spin of a barrel chamber – ” See the bullet in the chamber ” – right between your two eyes (ears – same thing)

the gun fires off – “I pulled the crack

then you hear an empty shell dropping onto the stone floor – “see the shells jump out the side

This very last sound arrives from the other side of your ear, and although it does not make any sense that the empty shell has “traveled through” your brain, it is as close to as an all attention encompassing self inflicted skull shot as one can go through without actually dying. Simply genius, bravo!

I help you one last time, not that you deserve it.

M= Marker; D= Diverger; B=BushWick


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Nothing Personal

I swear I’m not gonna mention here things like

Why I tried applying to be a Marine unsuccessfully twice.

What it was like to be detained in Minnesota.

What it was like to be detained by the DEA in Santa Rosa – went on my driver license as an entry – having my arms zip tied behind my back sitting on my own vehicle’s hood.

What it was like to be at an interrogation about an Interpol 10-most wanted person.

What it was like to lose my wedding ring on Waikiki Beach.

What it was like boom-netting on New Zealand next to the Marlboro private island. Or was it Pall Mall? How should O know, I don’t smoke.

Why do I have business card of an FBI agent somewhere at my house in the Philippines.

Why did my 3.5 years of work at Bloomberg end with a grievance.

The answer is simple: I always end up at the wrong place with the wrong face.

I’m just a next-door neighbor, working hard at trying to stay sober.

Found this too>

That’s me with the Z+ microphone in my hand sitting next to Steve Lukather behind the Desert Inn’s Crystal Room in Las Vegas.

Come to think of it, just call me John Nescafee.

Mount Rushmore
New Zealand
Key West
Miami
Mojave Desert
Hurghada, Egypt
Washington D.C.
somewhere by HWY 1
Lake Tahoe
Half Moon Bay
Sacramento River